What If?
If my husband lost a finger or an arm, life as we know it would change. He would not be as efficient in tasks like dish-washing or buttoning his shirts. We would adjust.
But, Tammy, he is a classical guitarist. Would that not crush him and send him into a deep depression from which he may never recover? After all, he has invested 28 years into mastering the guitar.
Have we talked about the worst thing that could happen barring death? Check. Do I think he would recover? Absolutely. What would he do?
Dr. Doolittle
Why, he would talk to the animals. Of course he would. While my husband’s identity is anchored to the guitar, he has a penchant for all things mammilian, reptilian, and ornithological. It took me a while to realize this.
In the early years of our marriage, I was only able to see him avoiding animals. He is horribly allergic to cats and very allergic to dogs, so much so that two long visits with these furriest of friends landed him in the emergency room. Now that we are able to walk five miles every morning, I see my husband in a whole new light.
Shutting Up
Back in the days before five mile walks and our own business, we ate our breakfasts in silence and shuffled off to work. Upon returning, however, CJ would receive his daily salvo about all of the wrongs of my day – curmudgeon coworkers, brazen bosses, and the piles of work that awaited my attention. He, on the other hand, saved his tidbits of misery for an hour or so before bed. In between these woeful conversations, we ate and watched TV.
Fast forward to the day after I left public school teaching because my own health crisis forced me to quit or, quite possibly, suffer irreversible damage to my body. Ah, the drama. But that first day of my new life, I noticed something. Silence, beautiful silence. I had nothing to bitch about. On our now daily morning walks, I noticed a sky, the trees, and birdsong. He noticed all these things and much more.
New Gigs
At the beginning of a relationship, everything is absolutely stunning. Oh, you love to toss your socks on the floor when you take them off. So cute! Toilet seat up or down? You choose! I love trying not to fall in! Everything the other does is magic.
And so it was once again ten years after our I-dos. As the weeks passed and morning walks became our new norm, I noticed the man next to me. I noticed that he spotted so many animals. Mind you, we live in the fourth largest city in America. Although we are fortunate to own a townhome near a beautiful subdivision lined with trees which borders a bayou, it is not exactly Wild Kingdom.
Or is it?
Hey, the squirrels are so frolicksome today.
Did you hear that mockingbird? He makes so many different calls.
An armadillo. Quick! Over there – in the bushes!
What is that noise? Ooooh. A mama raccoon and her babies!
CJ notices any and every animal. He points out their habits and regales me with stories he recalls from nature shows. I see the possibilities for a nature show or a one-armed alligator wrestler. I hope he never has to make that decision, but I’m here with his next great adventure if he needs suggestions.
And you, Jolly reader? We love hearing from you.
We were interviewed by the lovely Maggie Reyes on Modern Married. Check out the interview here.
10 comments about "What If?"
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We are Tammy and CJ, and we are tickled pink you chose to spend time with us. Frolic about
a bit, poke around, and get
your snicker on. Now, get over here, so we can pet you and
feed you nuts.
Boy, there is quite a lot in this post. What if? Quick musician joke: Luckily I play the trombone…if I lose a hand I can still make this happen. SO silly. My wife is a violinist of the highest caliber; a finger and it is all over.
I have also spend many years in the public schools ( so sorry about your health!!) and I can only imagine that your “new” life is a beautiful thing.
I smile at your beautiful relationship…love it!
Tony@WeOnlyDoThisOnce recently posted..How the Heck am I in the Running for Top Blog of 2012??
Hello Tony! Such an interesting point, and I hope that you and your wife never have to face even a paper cut! I took guitar from the best teacher ever and quit after two weeks. He was so excited watching me practice, but I told him it was me not him. He stayed married to me.
We are so glad you are enjoying the posts. If we hadn’t changed our lives, we would have nothing to write about. On second thought, we could have started a blog called The Bitchers or Disgruntled!
Needless to say, this is a much more pleasant experience.
Many thanks for your thoughtful comments.
I hope he never has to make such a decision but what an interesting talking point to get the reader hooked Tammy! LOL.
I’m so glad you were able to rediscover that level of communication and love. I hate the way the grind of life can get you down and make you not see what’s in front of you. I had to do the very same thing through ill health. It’s amazing how a little realization of what’s really important makes you totally change tracks and appreciate rather than moan. It’s such a healthier way to live! So great for you guys.
Now stop talking about cutting off arms or you’ll tempt fate or something!
Big love
Grace
Grace Pamer recently posted..Marriage Proposal Video of the Week
Good morning, Grace! So good to see your cheery face always. I know. I was afraid to send that post over to CJ for approval. I will watch him for signs of anxiety – extra guarding of his digits and limbs, shaking, etc.
I am so sorry you have had to go through struggles. I tell people about the antibiotic, so they don’t take it. Other than that, I have to say that it was one of the best worst things that ever happened to me although I would never wish that people go through anything like that before they get up and grab life by the horns and LIVE!
What if – yikes! I think that no matter what happened, you guys would figure out how to make it really, really interesting.
Rosemary recently posted..Something Special Today?
Hello Rosemary! I hope it never happens, but why not ponder the What Ifs? As long as we don’t get morbid about it! Thank you for stopping by. Hope you and your husband are having a great day.
So many of us waste so many years of our lives with our noses to the grindstone – soaking up all the associated stress, pressure and malaise that entails – in the paradoxical pursuit of contentment.
Where does it get most of us? Like you say Tammy, so emotionally drained and consumed by life’s burdens that in those rare instances where we are able to manage more than a grunt of interaction with our nearest and dearest, our conversations tend to amount to little more than release valves for all our pent up dissatisfaction. And then, if we don’t kill ourselves in that fruitless pursuit, we burn out.
It’s a wonderful thing when we finally wake up and simply enjoy life for what it is; when we start to appreciate the simple pleasures that somehow previously evaded our eyes.
A few years a go, I was vaguely aware of those feathery things with wings in the sky, but after my own rat-race induced crisis, I like CJ, seem to have developed a strange penchant for ornithology. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching and listening to a group of Red Kites with their distinctive call, circling around a hill they call home just a stones throw from my front door. Such a simple pleasure, and yet, like you said, those simple pleasures can’t be embraced until people ‘grab life by the horns and LIVE’.
Poetic post, Tammy. All the best, Gareth
Gareth recently posted..It’s personality that counts…right?
Good evening, Gareth! I appreciate your comments and careful attention to detail in your responses. It reads just like one of your posts – which we find delightful.
I also want to thank you for introducing me to red kites. What a sound, and I can imagine your pleasure in hearing and seeing them so close to your home. CJ and I listened together and then he said, “Ah, so beautiful – like a penny flute” which sent me off in search of a penny flute video. Tonight I have heard red kites and Greensleeves played on penny flute. I prefer red kites!
We are determined never to feel those ‘grunts of interaction’ again. Farewell to ennui! But not farewell to you, Gareth. We look forward to your next post and all of your comments. Many thanks.
As a juggler and acrobat, I totally get this. If you injure your arms, you can’t juggle. If you injure your back or shoulders, it is hard to throw people about.
As I seem to be naturally phasing circus out of my life, at least the huge focus there used to be (unsure exactly what the future holds), I am actually wrestling with this problem. What would I do if I wasn’t in a circus related field?
This has lead me back to mathematics education for now, and is the reason I have worked on writing, but I am unsure exactly where my future lies, which is both scary and exciting.
Mark Adam Douglass (@MADouglass) recently posted..I Remember
Mark, I love this line “I am unsure exactly where my future lies, which is both scary and exciting.” Scary and exciting is so much better than safe and apathetic or secure and bored as hell. One of the many reasons we love reading your blog is because you are exploring what the future holds and taking steps both big and small to get “there” – whatever “there” means!
As you know, we love to scheme and plan. Today on our walk we took time to appreciate the crisp morning air and notice the squirrels and birds seem to like it too. Under the bluest of skies, we talked of being present and not racing to the next thing. I know you and Jess give each other reminders. I needed a reminder today, and CJ was able to give it a way that made me think, Ah, yes. Let us be present. I’m not sure if you know the song, but I began to sing the Indigo Girls song, Closer to Fine as we walked along. Fortunately, no one else was out on the walk or retrieving their morning newspaper at that time!