The Value of the Diamond
I almost peeled the Houston Rockets sticker from our car today. We are no longer sports fans. Momentarily lost in a wave of nostalgia, I let it stay on the back window.
All of the Rockets games we watched together cheering on McGrady, Stevie Francis, Yao Ming. I religiously checked the game schedule taped to the inside of our kitchen cabinet and marked each one with a W or L. Three or four nights a week we tuned in to cheer for our guys. We bought t-shirts and saved up to attend a game a year. There was talk of tattoos.
Why did two avid fans who quoted game stats and knew every player on every starting line-up in the NBA stop caring? Don’t we care about our city? Are we so callous as to only care about a winning team?
It was time to shape the diamond.
During my graduate work, I took a class that actually added value to my life. You know the class. The moment the professor starts speaking, you slightly nod your head and think, Yes. Yes! Tuition dollars well spent. She sat at the head of a long conference table with her short grey hair in perfect tiny curls around her head. She may may have been 70 or 75, perhaps 80. I was smitten.
Throughout the semester, she imparted her wisdom as we sat riveted. She guided us through our writing process. Ah, I like the way you approached…What a unique proposal…Do you think you might…
It was the end of the semester when she told us about the diamond.
I do not play bridge. I write. Instead of filling my life with many activities and obligations, I choose to focus on what really matters to me. In order to do what I love, I had to focus. It’s like a diamond, she said, and her hands formed a V at the base and then angled them upward and outward. She reached the outer edges and continued upward but now inward. She brought her hands to a point above her head.
The very next and final class of the semester she rolled in a cart loaded with books. There may have been 50 or 75, perhaps 100. Every one donned her name, and every one had been published.
The diamond has everything to do with why we stopped taking up three or four nights a week watching others live their dreams. We now read and discuss the same books. We take five mile walks every single day. Our diets received a much-needed shakedown.
I will walk out of this coffee shop today and peel that sticker from the window after all.
Have you questioned why you still hold on to certain activities? Is it time to abandon one activity for a better one?
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27 comments about "The Value of the Diamond"
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We are Tammy and CJ, and we are tickled pink you chose to spend time with us. Frolic about
a bit, poke around, and get
your snicker on. Now, get over here, so we can pet you and
feed you nuts.
I am completely with you there Tammy. I used to be an avid Saints fan and watched every game. Over the years my feelings have mellowed and whilst I still love them I am far more interesting in using every waking hour I have on improving my Spanish or developing my blogging skills. There really is only so much time in life. I know someday I will go back to watching the Saints week in and week out but for now I am content to lie in the bath each night after working all day and cramming a final bit of learning into the only receptor in my brain that isn’t fighting to turn off.
Now repeat after me “Comeria pronto pero estoy escribir mi blog!”
Big love
Grace
Grace Pamer recently posted..Fall Sexiest Season Lowdown – Why The Cold Brings Out The Intimacy
Oh Grace, I so want to polish up my Spanish skills. Several of my friends are native Spanish speakers and after 6+ years in high school and college, I really need some brushing up. My translation is: I am eating soon but I am writing my blog. Wait! Is it I will eat soon but now I am writing my blog?
I know the Saints and Rockets will be waiting for us when we return. Until then, we can enjoy other pursuits. Great to have you here!
I would like to eat soon but I’m writing my blog… so very close
Lovely to be here. Hope you guys have a loving holiday season!
Big love
Grace
Grace Pamer recently posted..Marriage Proposal Video of the Week
Oh, good! I am afraid I massacred Rosemary’s, and that was most likely in Italian. Perhaps Rosetta Stone would be a good purchase.
Thank you. We wish you the same. Enjoy your holidays!
Yes, I do question why we still stick to some of our old activities. Habits can be a bit too comfortable, and inertia does not motivate us to change. I know we watch too much TV, and we aren’t getting enough exercise. Despite our lazy ways, I managed to go back to school, where I am working toward a master’s degree in linguistics. My husband just sent the completed manuscript of his first book to his publisher. We have improved the way we spend our time, but more changes are needed.
Mangerò presto, ma adesso scrivo il mio blog.
Rosemary recently posted..Great Reads
A master’s degree in linguistics and a completed manuscript! Wow, Rosemary. Congratulations to you and your husband. That could hardly be considered lazy ways.
Now, let me see here…You are managing something fast and you’re going to do something with your blog? Oh help! I am such an embarrassment. Here I sit in one of the most wonderfully diverse cities and have actually worked in a bilingual school, and this is the best I can do?! I wish I liked to watch another sport because I could then give that up too and study Spanish!
You were right that it’s Italian. “I will eat soon, but now I am writing my blog.” And, in fact, it’s just about dinner time here, so I can say the same thing again!
Rosemary recently posted..Cleaning Out My Closet – Pink Shoes
I bring great dishonor to CJ’s family!
Wow!!! I absolutely love that concept.
Giving up the things you enjoy for the things that are really important to you.
I have been doing exactly that myself over the last year. It was always intentional, but now with the diamond focusing concept it will help me to make more intentional choices about how I spend my time.
Thank you very much for your post!!!
Mark Adam Douglass (@MADouglass) recently posted..The Rewarding Hard Work
I’m so glad it resonated, Mark. Having the visual of the diamond really helps me prioritize and simplify. Of course, sticky notes on bathroom mirrors also help!
Great to hear from you!
“Instead of filling my life with many activities and obligations, I choose to focus on what really matters to me. In order to do what I love, I had to focus. It’s like a diamond, she said, and her hands formed a V at the base and then angled them upward and outward…”
Wow, that really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing it. I do try to focus my life on what is most important (with mixed success), and this word picture really helps me.
Gaye
Hello, Gaye. So glad you stopped by. I just peeked at your blog and can see that you advocate for focus. Since I am a recovering do-it-all-but-bemoan-it, I can say that my wish for all people is to find focus. Sometimes we mistake focus for selfishness. I now feel more able to give love than I ever was when I was trying to do it all. So glad you like the visual. I can still see my professors hands as she formed the diamond. So powerful!
Love this post Tammy… I stumbled across it after seeing it mentioned on my friend’s site (The Generous Wife by Lori Byerly). I agree wholeheartedly with you… that we easily pour our time into distractions or activities that keep us from pursuing experiences that are nearer and dearer to what matters most to us.
It takes effort, no doubt, but I am learning that in order to say “yes” to what I truly want to pursue means I have to say “no” to a lot of other stuff… even if that stuff is somewhat enjoyable.
It’s a disciplined way of living I’m trying to instill in my kids too.
Anyway, thanks for the great post and reminder!
Julie Sibert recently posted..It’s Not Just About the Sex, Is It Guys?
Greetings, Julie! So glad you stumbled upon us. I think you refine the idea even further when you say “even if that stuff is somewhat enjoyable.” If we engage in all of the somewhat enjoyable activities offered us, we may miss out on those extremely enjoyable ones that come after we have engaged in something of extraordinary value. I think the fun is that each of us gets to figure out what that is. It is somewhat like my very nascent meditation practice. I have to sift through those racing thoughts to find those few minutes (or rather, seconds, in my case) of being present.
Thank you for stopping by. We hope to see you again soon.
Awesome post, guys. Such a great thing to read. In a time when I feel like I’m being pulled in about fifty different directions (and those are only the ones I can name. I’m sure they have siblings who want to tug at me too!), your story of the diamond really gives a focus for me in how to think about what stays and what just might have to go. Thank you.
Megan Joel Peterson recently posted..Support and silence in honor of Newtown, Connecticut
So glad it resonated with you, Megan. We are always “in the process” of shaping our diamond(s). This always seems like the perfect time of year to do that sort of thing. We look forward to hearing about how your book is coming along in the new year. Happy holidays, and thanks for stopping by!
Since reading your article a few days ago, whenever either one of us sees the other procrastinating, we make a diamond shape, questioning if this is really what they want to be doing.
We love it!!!
Mark Adam Douglass (@MADouglass) recently posted..The Grinch
Oh, I love this, Mark! It reminds me of Erin Kurup’s post about plums on RemadeByHand.com. When we keep trying things that don’t work because they look great but perform poorly, CJ yells out, “Plums!” Glad to hear the diamond is working in your home! Now, I believe you have a new post which I am off to read!
I just checked out Erin Kurup’s post on plums.
I like it.
I may start using that too.
And thanks for the heads up on a good site. I signed up for some emails… and may consider her editing services some time in the future.
Mark Adam Douglass (@MADouglass) recently posted..Spending The Day With Seth Godin
So glad that was helpful, Mark. Erin is great!
I’m thrilled you enjoyed the plums post, Mark! It’s great to meet you.
Erin recently posted..Comment on The Thing About Tinsel by sarahemily
I can’t even tell you how excited I am that “Plums!” is catching on in your house!! Together we can invent an entire personal development slang, hehehehe…plums and diamonds, we’re off to a good start!
Erin recently posted..Comment on The Thing About Tinsel by sarahemily
Yes, Erin! I am all about short and catchy. Perhaps we can even pair it with visuals or video. CJ could compose a jingle about them. Ok, I get carried away. Trying to keep myself tethered to the ground while reaching for the stars in the new year. I’m looking forward to seeing what everyone is creating!
Fantastic article. That’s what I miss about school– that opportunity to shift paradigms so often. What a wise and wonderful teacher you had!
I am so glad she came into my life when she did. I think it would have fallen on deaf ears during my undergrad work.
Great to have you here, Shanna. I am looking forward to all that you have brewing up at Change Catalyst in the new year.
Wonderful post, as usual, Tammy & CJ! I’m so good at getting stuck in the middle, never actually refining my focus to finish the thing I’ve set out to do. I feel like I’m keeping my options open, but really I’m taking up precious time and energy propping open as many doors as I can. Gotta seal up some of those leaks.
Erin recently posted..Comment on The Thing About Tinsel by sarahemily
I hear you, Erin. I just bought a Kabat-Zinn book I believe you recommended. I am starting out the new year by taking actions to be more mindful. I figure it sure beats a list of resolutions!