My Nancy Nails
It is true that the guitar came long before my wife. But I’d gladly snap it in two over my knee and devolve from Jolly Troubadour to a miserable bitch to demonstrate my greater love for my wife.
Tammy adroitly supports all things guitar to avoid such unpleasant scenes. And I counter by taking modest purchases and practicing at optimal times so we can have plenty of uninterrupted, quality-time.
Flattery: Mother’s Milk
She says that she likes hearing me play during the day which I doubt, especially from 9:30-10:30, since she is exposed to scales, arpeggios and the incessant repetition of difficult passages from one of my creepy compositions. But why not take it prime facie? She even goes as far as complimenting these sinister, reaper-friendly elegies, but again, I must assume her sincerity. I must Assume Love.
File, Sand, Buff, Repeat.
What perhaps is a point of contention is my nails. You see, I am not just any guitarist. I am a classical guitarist, which means I play an acoustic, nylon-string guitar which I use my nails to pluck rather than a plectrum, or as it is more commonly known as a pick. But how declasse to say pick. Of course there are a multitude of other boring details that classify me as a classical guitarist of which I’ll spare the reader. Now, these nails need love and attention, greater love and attention than any socialite or soccer mom. Why, because shaped correctly and with great care they, along with excellent technique, can produce the warmest, roundest, dark, rich and delicious timbre. Really, without this, what’s the point of playing at all?
My finger nails have not been clipped since 1987. How am I not in the Guinness Book of World Records or on Ripley’s Believe It or Not? Nail files and fine-grade sand paper, that’s how. So occasional issues arise when I care for my nails at inopportune times such as at a restaurant (under the table, of course), on the way to work in the car (as the passenger, of course), or in the checkout line at the grocery store (while everyone else is ogling the swimsuit models on the various magazine covers, of course.)
Putting the Show on the Road
One of my favorite stories about us has to do with my precious nails. We were moving from NY to Houston the summer of 1998. I was driving a the Ryder truck with nearly all our belongings, including our second car, in tow. Tammy led the way in our other car. Well it happened that it was a lengthy drive and the radio stations were simply under-cultured for most of the trip. Naturally, I used the time to file and sand my neglected nails, likely somewhere on Interstate 78 or 59.
Busted
Soon, the walkie-talkie (another post altogether, readers) crackles with Tammy’s voice who inquires whether she can believe what she sees. Surely it cannot be the case that her husband is filing his nails atop the steering wheel while careening down the highway in a Ryder truck with all our belongings. Are you filing your nails?, came the admonishment. Away the file went, but not without a little pouting and justification.
If you want to take a peek we were featured on Be More With Less this week in a series called Simplicity In Action.
8 comments about "My Nancy Nails"
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
- The Great Jollyhoombah | The Magic of Urgency - [...] an urgent matter. And that too had to be created. It did not exist before I made it up. ...
Leave a comment
We are Tammy and CJ, and we are tickled pink you chose to spend time with us. Frolic about
a bit, poke around, and get
your snicker on. Now, get over here, so we can pet you and
feed you nuts.
Salut to your nails fine guitar picker! Are you going to upload any MP3′s on here so we can have a listen? Hope so.
Big love
Grace
Grace Pamer recently posted..Biggest Heart Quotes
Thank you and top of the mornin’ to ya, Grace!!!! I have no MP3s, so how’s about a link to a YouTube video. Please don’t mind my pimple. But I’d love to know what you think of it. Bigger love to you!!!
I too have had a fair few bewildered comments over the years about my strikingly feminine right hand ‘Nancy’ nails CJ, particularly when then contrasted with my left hand stubs. Fortunately, as I’m more comfortable with a Les Paul, taking a purely leisurely interest in classical playing, I’m saved the inconvenience of manicuring. They’re long, but I hope this doesn’t shock you, they do get trimmed with scissors. Glad you’ve achieved a perfect relationship / guitar playing equilibrium. For me, the Les Paul still comes first, but I’m working on it
Best wishes, Gareth
Gareth recently posted..Giving Up Cigarettes: It’s All about Mindset
Scissors!!!!! Cripes!! Oh, I mean thank you Gareth for visiting and leaving such a nice comment. I love the way you worded it so cleverly. I just had a peek at your site, read the first 4 titles, and well, I need to leave off with this reply so I can go read a few of your posts.
One other item. I envy you your Les Paul. They are gorgeous instruments. I grew up a metal head and it is still in me to large extent. I still have a penchant for Iron Maiden, Dio, Ozzy, Judas Priest, Queen’s Reich, Metallica, Black Sabbath, and the like.
Thanks again, Gareth!
We admire your declaration of love and Tammy’s support of your passion.
We also appreciate your acceptance, as a couple, of a difference of opinion over the timing of nail maintenance, of which Tammy uses as a means to poke fun at you, and that you enjoy the jokes as much as she does.
Mark Adam Douglass (@MADouglass) recently posted..Unleashing the Behemoth
What a delight to have your comment, MAD! Thank you.
Sometimes we get laughing so hard over such matters that I need to use my puffer. Yes, I am also Bubble Boy which makes necessary a whole new repertoire of jokes and ridiculous scenes. I hope I can find a way to share these asthmatic allegories, in good taste of course, too:)
I see an awesome opportunity here for a webinar.
Really. I suck at taking care of my nails. They grow and grow and grow until they finally break. Then I’ll get out a file to take the sharp edge off so I don’t scratch myself, but that’s about it. So seriously. Care to show us how it’s done? 
Lori Stalter recently posted..Are You Falling for the Work Harder Hoax?
Thanks a million and then some for your comment, Lori!!! It just so happens that I recently purchased the Q3HD by Zoom and I am itching to make some vids for the blog. You may have very well given us our first idea! And don’t be too hard on yourself and your nails. It is an art – after all.