Facing Fear Together
Imagine yourself on a hike with your partner.
You are far away from home in a strange land, yet you feel calm and assured that the two of you will meet any challenges and come away with memories to cherish forever and photos to rival postcards.
In March 2010, I was on such a hike. As a surprise for CJ’s 40th birthday, I planned a trip to West Texas to hike in Big Bend.
The trip was a huge success. So the room that boasted the hot tub and ambiance was a delapitated, overpriced hovel with a Navajo blanket stapled to the wall as a window covering and the tub would need six bleach cleansings in order for me to consider soaking my feet in it. The two concave shapes in the mattress proved that memory foam does work. It appeared to have remembered the body shapes of the last 600 hotel guests.
A Roar in the Bushes
On the first morning, we drive into the park, eyes-a-bulging. Maps in hand, we hop out of the car eager to romp off into the desert and be one with nature.
The signs at the trail-heads are not warnings but inevitable encounters - at least to me. I read and commit to memory the actions I will take when I see a mountain lion as, they assure me on the sign, they do exist in this park. Don’t run. Face the lion and back away slowly. Try to appear large. Shout. If the lion behaves aggressively, throw stones.
I plan on seeing one. As I sniff the fresh desert air and keep pace, I scan the far off mountainsides, the bushes, and any rock bigger than a foot in circumference. Small mountain lions could hide there, could they not?
Not an hour into our hike, I hear a low growl.
Did you hear that? I ask CJ.
Yes.
Well, I think we should do what the sign says, I say.
Try to appear large. My hands go in the air above my head as my heart sinks into my stomach. CJ waves his hands above his head.
Shout. My weak yelps grow confident once CJ begins yelling, Hey! Whoa! Go on! Get outta here!
Throw stones. I bend down and pick up the largest rocks I can find. CJ follows. While we love animals, we do not wait to see if one will come out and ”act aggressively.” We throw rocks into the nearby bushes from which, we both agree, the roars came.
No rustling cometh from the bushes. No attacks. Nada.
While still facing the bushes, we agree that we have a choice. We can return to the trailhead and perhaps find a kiddie trail close to the visitor center, or we can continue on. We chose the latter and the events of our next four days constitute the best trip to date.
Lessons from the Desert
The trip was a symbol for what we are aiming for in day to day life – being able to come together and make decisions that improve the quality of our lives. Sometimes these decisions are small. Should we stay at the coffee shop the extra ten minutes we need to finish work on the next chapter? Some not so small. Are we living our best lives?
And you, Jolly reader?
16 comments about "Facing Fear Together"
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We are Tammy and CJ, and we are tickled pink you chose to spend time with us. Frolic about
a bit, poke around, and get
your snicker on. Now, get over here, so we can pet you and
feed you nuts.
Carpe diem! I like your attitude guys. The low road or the high road? Take the high road together and go for it! We’re all in as well. Just have to make the most of every opportunity as you never know what is around the corner.
Grace Pamer recently posted..Marriage Proposal Video Of The Week
So true, Grace. I know you two do seize it! We just had a conversation like that on our morning walk. Planning, dreaming, and scheming. What else is there, really? Oh, yes. There is loving, growing, and the like. Top of the mornin’ to ya! Big Hoombah Love! -Tam
I love this, guys. It reminds me of the time my husband, our friends and I took a hike through the Smoky Mountains and had a similar near run-in with a bear. Scary, but exhilarating (well… now. Because we’re okay).
Whether real survival-based fears or insubstantial, emotional ones, it’s always so much better to face those things with the people you’re closest to.
Megan Joel Peterson recently posted..Finding balance
So true, Megan! My goodness, I’m so glad you made it. That would have really ticked me off if a bear deprived me of a great book and author!
I like how you also point out the insubstantial, emotional fears. They’re so much more prevalent, and we need to know how to handle those too. Often we can do it on our own, but it’s always good to know who’s got your back! Thank you for your insight. -Tam
I love to get out of my comfort zone, and find this is when life improves the most. If you stay in the same place doing the same thing you can’t expect much in terms of improvement.
Pauline recently posted..Your Debt Expert’s Tips For Saving
Hi Pauline. A Jolly welcome to you! We agree. It’s not only when we’re hiking in the desert watching for mountain lions. When we first start something new, we learn all sorts of things about resilience and growth. I see that you have been in various parts of the world which we are hoping to do more of in the near future!
That mountain lion didn’t stand a chance! Reminds me of a story my friend told about hiking in Alaska. He and his friends wanted to go a special landmark. The woman at the supply station asked them if they had a gun. A Gun!!?? No, they did not. Well, she said, we haven’t seen any polar bears lately so you’ll probably be okay. Hmmm…. My friend was the slowest runner in the group, so they let him decide what to do. He decided to turn back.
Rosemary recently posted..A Valentine Story
Good evening, Rosemary. A polar bear?! I definitely would have turned back. Although I would love to see one, it has to be from one of those special tundra vehicles with very thick glass. Looking forward to checking out your latest. CJ said he has already done so! He’s so ahead of me.
We love how you consistently tie together humorous and adventurous stories with thought provoking life lessons. Basically, we love you guys.
We constantly work together to improve one another’s lives. We have labelled one another as the other persons business and life coaches. When wearing these hats we have permission to question, recommend and share our thoughts on decisions and direction.
Thanks again for inspiring us with your words.
Mark Adam Douglass (@MADouglass) recently posted..TV To People Ratio
Thank you for your kind words, Mark. We feel the same way about you both.
Our antics make for some good stories. Although we are very serious about pursuing our passions, we are not very serious when doing so. CJ has really helped me lighten up and live life. I, in turn, make sure he doesn’t get arrested.
^^^ that sounds like an excellent “division of labor”!
Karen J recently posted..Aaahhh! Fairyland…
Welcome, Karen! Ah yes, he fighteth off the lions and does the dishes. The perfect man!
The only thing better than facing our fear is doing it in tandem; especially with someone we love. Great post!
Tony@WeOnlyDoThisOnce recently posted..On Conquering Self Doubt (and some great weekend reads)
So true, Tony. I have to admit that I would never be on that trail by myself. CJ? Well, that is another story. If he were not a classical guitarist, he would be doing something in nature like Jeff Corwin or Steve Irwin. I’m rather glad he’s picked six strings over pythons.
Great post. You write very well. I was inspired by this!
A Jolly welcome to you, Jimmy. So glad to have you here. I am so glad to hear you were inspired by our story. We look forward to being in touch!