Yes, jubilee. Because the Hoombah was organized and ready. Taxes are commonly associated with unpleasant phenomenon such as death, laws and prison. The actualization of these associations is optional, of course. Please allow me to explain.
The Tax and Tea Lady
It was Tammy’s first year to be the Tax and Tea Lady. I am always the Tax and Tea Man except for this year. Tax and Tea because of how the 1773 Boston Tea Party from which The Tea Act came essentially eliminated all taxes on tea. And because I almost always make the tea and do the taxes. And because it is fun to call each other the Tax and Tea Man or Lady.
What? You do not indulge in such silliness in your private moments? Of course you do. But I digress – both here and later in the post.
Moreover, I was once called the Tax and Tea Man a few years ago because I was bold enough to ask Tammy a tax question while she was trying to study for her comprehensive exams to earn a masters at University of Houston. It just so happened that I was making tea at the time. She obviously wanted to body-slam me in front of the kitchen sink and follow up with a firm choke hold, but rather said, Ok, Tax and Tea Man! Tammy brought it off quite well this year, but may lose her post as Tax and Tea Lady in 2014 for matters not concerning her and quite beyond her control. Ha! Just kidding. I will make sure she never loses her position because that would mean I have to step in.
Dawn, or as we affectionately call her, but not to her face, Dawnsy, handles our taxes with grace and a bit of panache which is a huge bonus – the panache, that is. We really have no business having such a talented tax wizard working for us. I am certain she does taxes for those whose homes we ogle on the way into downtown. Still, Dawnsy answers all our questions no matter how silly or how many and in short makes us feel as if we own one of those mansions on Memorial Drive until, of course, we are informed that we owe taxes.
The Tax Bed
Most people probably have a file or shoebox or the like for their taxes. On the surface, this seems perfectly reasonable, but may I suggest a bed? Much like a whiteboard which, for some reason, seem to be all the craze as of late, the bed provides taxes at a glance. Neat paper-clipped stacks of categorized receipts, carbon copies of checks and estimated tax payment forms cover more than half the bed. When the time comes, we simply toss all the stacks into a manila folder and wait for various agencies to mail or email our tax forms. This year, they held the whole process up, so prepared were we.
Show time was 2.3.2013 this year, our earliest yet. It is not uncommon for Lady Hoombah and Sir Jolly to drag their feet until April, bringing death, laws and prison into the realm of possibility. Not this time. Tammy had added up the receipts and printed Dawnsy’s tax organizer/worksheet. I had been printing and gathering tax forms, so when the time came we simply swiped the stacks from the tax bed to be tucked away in a nice manila folder. Off to the coffee shop we went with all our tax materials in a backpack.
Then in an industrious flurry of papers, pens, pencils, passwords, an ailing 15 year old calculator and a heap of jesting profanity we performed a tax miracle. It was done in little more than an hour, even with frequent coffee refills, restroom breaks and plenty of staring off into the sky from the large, merciful windows.
The Tax and Tea Man and The Tax and Tea Lady then took their antics from the cafe to lunch where they congratulated themselves with a hearty feast. Most Jolly Reader, have you any tax tips? Tax tips of the sort that might ease the discomfort of this heavy burden and lend it some levity? Please share in comments.
Jolly Good People, Posts and Ideas
Anthony (Tony) Mazzocchi of You Only Do This Once is a master of personal finance and his easy to read, ultra-useful posts are addictive.
Emily Wenstrom of Creative Juicer is a fine writer who provides top-notch content on writing and topics related to creativity and career.